Being assertive in the bedroom

One of the great things about taking a break from sex is that it gives you time to think about the sex you actually want.

To get the sex you want it’s important to be assertive. But many guys can struggle to say no or ask for the kind of sex they like.

What is assertiveness?

Being assertive in the bedroom means saying what you want in a calm and positive way, and feeling fine about doing so. It means respecting your own needs as much as you respect the person, you’re with. And doing so without being aggressive.

Here are some tips to help:

Assertiveness isn’t about conflict. Being assertive can actually lead to more open and genuine relationships with less tension.

  • You can learn to be assertive even if it doesn’t come naturally. You might feel awkward saying what you want but the more you practice, the easier it becomes. You’ll soon realise it is OK to stand up for what you want.
  • Assertiveness isn’t about controlling others; it’s about controlling your own behaviour. Once you have expressed what you want, they have the right to do the same too.

Take time to become assertive. You don’t have to ask for what you want right away or answer questions immediately. Take time to think about what you want or how to respond so you have clear ideas in your mind.