Living your fantasies

Fulfilling a fantasy of uninhibited sex may seem pleasurable in the short-term but living out fantasies does not always live up to the expectations and that can affect your health and wellbeing.

We spoke to Niccolo who experiments with harder sex to fulfil his fantasies.

Tell us about your sexual fantasy?

I do not really have one sexual fantasy. I want to just find newer better experiences all the time – to get a better high from sex than last time.

When you say ‘high’ are drugs involved?

Sometimes, but that is not what I mean. It is the feeling you get from the sex itself. Wanting to try new things with new guys.

Would you say you are fulfilling your sexual fantasies?

I feel like I am chasing something that does not exist now. It is becoming a bit of a cycle. I have sex most weekends, looking for the perfect experience. It is often not what I was hoping it would be. I often go to sex parties and leave, wondering why I went.

Would you say it is an addiction rather than a fantasy?

I would not say I am addicted to sex, some people might. It is like I have this expectation in my head about what sex could or should be like that I want to fulfill. Sex can be really fun and hot so I do not think it is bad to want to do it more.

Does it get in the way of other things though?

That is the bit I do not like. Sometimes I am chasing the fantasy too much and forget about other things. If the sex is disappointing, which is often is, I feel like I’ve wasted a weekend when I could be seeing friends or something.

What advice would you give to others?

I am trying to have sex less often – and maybe better quality. I think having bigger gaps between sex makes me enjoy it more when it happens. It’s worth the wait then.

If you’re worried about sex addiction or chemsex, the following resources can help: